How Do Dragon Personalities Affect You?

• They have the ability to shut you down with the simplest word or look.
• You don’t understand why they mistreat you.
• You feel like they are out to get you.
• They dismiss you, invalidate you, or reject your ideas as less than their own.
• You feel like they are your very extreme opposite.
• They may have an authoritative position over you (parent, boss, teacher, etc).
• You have a difficult time avoiding them.

Are you cringing yet? Chances are you have one or more people in mind.

Identify the Dragon Personalities in your Life

Think back to your childhood. Your Dragon first turned up then.  It might have been your parent, sibling, neighborhood bully, or teacher. Move on through the rest of school and into your adulthood. Name all the Dragons you’ve had throughout your life.  We aren’t talking about the occasional person you butted heads with.  We are looking for the people you clashed with on a gut level

• List the things that upset you about them (from irritations to deep hurts).
• Note how you reacted to their words and actions.
• See if you can recall how they responded to YOUR reactions. This can be difficult to do. Many people are so emotionally charged by their own feelings that they can’t see the Dragon’s reactions.

What do your Dragon Personalities Have in Common?

We now want to compare your Dragons and see the traits they have in common.  One of your Dragons may have made you feel like “I can’t trust my own judgement.” These Dragons may be judgmental, insensitive, know-it-alls, or narcissistic.  

• List the personality traits shared by all your Dragons.
• List the emotions you experience with most of these Dragon Personalities.
• List the reactions you experienced.
• List their reactions to your reactions.
  

Alright, now it’s time to slay the Dragons and save the princess in the tower, right?!?

HOLD ON!!!!!!

Oftentimes our Dragons are holding a mirror up and showing us a trait in ourselves that needs attention. Perhaps these Dragons are doing us a favor if we can use the pain to grow emotionally.

“I hated it when my stepdad Dragon would just give me THAT look! I never knew what he really thought. The story I made up in my head was torture. But I realise that I don’t tell my husband what I really think. I too just give him a look and expect him to figure out what I mean. Then I get mad when he doesn’t get it right. I put him in the same position as my stepdad did to me.”

Lindsay D. Phoenix, Arizona

As children, we had few life experiences and tools to cope with relationship conflicts. We had reactive feelings that were not necessarily under our control. But as an adult, we CHOOSE to feel the way we do. We CHOOSE to act the way we do. 

Are you a Dragon?

The point of this article is not to point fingers or dredge up old wounds.  Dragon Personalities, and the traits they possess, can actually be a gift to you.  They give you a chance to learn about yourself and question your own journey.  Everything that happens in life is a chance for our souls to evolve. 

So, next time you encounter your Dragon Personality … smile, take a deep breath, and welcome that fire.